


Learning To Write Smut

by NavajoLovesDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Awkwardness, Computer Repairman Dean Winchester, First Time Blow Jobs, Happy Ending, Kissing, M/M, Writer Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23530264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NavajoLovesDestiel/pseuds/NavajoLovesDestiel
Summary: Castiel is a writer who wants to write adult male gay romance. There's just one problem... Cas is a virgin. When his laptop crashes in the middle of a scene, he takes it to Dean's repair shop. When Dean fixes it and reads what Cas has written, he volunteers to help.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 65
Kudos: 233





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ms_josephine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ms_josephine/gifts).



> This is from a prompt given to me by a reader. I admit, it has been awhile, and I hope she forgives me.  
> My trusty beta, katelyndeveraux, deserves my ever faithful gratitude.

Castiel Novak was a very successful writer. He wrote fantasy novels under the  _ nom de plume  _ of Chuck Shurley. He had two trilogies and a shorter novel under his belt. The first trilogy was in its second printing. It was called  The Gardens Of Elembor, and there was talk about making it into a TV series.

Castiel Novak was miserable. 

He steadfastly resisted his publisher’s attempts to get him to write another fantasy book. He was tired of fantasy. He had a burning desire.

He wanted to write adult novels. Adult gay romance. Adult  _ male _ gay romance to be more accurate. 

He’d started one, and it was good. Castiel knew it was good, as far as it went. Where the problems began was with the sex scene. There was a big problem.

Castiel was gay, sure, But he was also a virgin.

It certainly wasn’t for lack of trying. He’d been on several failed first dates. He’d hung out in gay bars. But nothing ever happened.

Because Castiel Novak was very socially awkward. He’d never been any good at small talk. He had strange hobbies. He wasn’t at all versed in popular culture. He was handsome, but odd.

But Castiel persisted. He sat at his computer, writing for hours. He tried scene after scene, erasing them and starting again. Over and over again.

_ Peter grabbed Frank in a crushing hug. His lips pressed to Franks, their tongues clashed in a vie for dominance. Peter’s turgid penis threatened to bruise Frank’s hip where it poked into him. Frank moaned into Peter’s mouth… “Take me, make me yours…” _

It was crap, and Castiel knew it was crap.

He knew what it felt like to masturbate. He knew what it felt like to fuck himself on his dildo. He didn’t know what it felt like to actually be with another man.

It was maddening… frustrating… and it made for crap writing. 

He’d considered hiring an escort, but that wouldn’t be what he really wanted. He wanted passion, love… and to not get arrested or catch something.

He was so frustrated, he hit his fist on the desk next to his computer. And the screen went blank.

He looked at it. It still indicated it was on, but there was nothing on the screen. He tried shutting it off and turning it back on. Nothing.

“No! No, no, no!”

He put his face in his hands. After a bit, he got out his phone and searched for somewhere to get it fixed. He found a little shop that was close, with rave reviews. He put on his shoes, grabbed his laptop and went to his car. He took a deep breath to calm himself and drove to the shop.

The sign read, ‘Winchester’s Computer Repair.’

He parked and got out, grabbing his traitorous laptop and walked to the front door. He took another deep breath and went inside.

The shop was cluttered but had a surprisingly homey feel to it. There were photos here and there, band posters on the walls. From somewhere in the back, the sounds of rock music could be heard. Castiel walked to the counter. There was a little bell, so he rang it.

A deep voice came from the back. “I’ll be right there!”:

Castiel sat the laptop on the counter and waited. He didn’t have to wait long. A man walked out from around a corner to the counter.

The man was breathtaking. Castiel had to remember to breathe. The guy smiled and it lit up the room.

“Hi. I’m Dean. What can I do for you?” He looked at Castiel with green eyes that Castiel fell into.

“Uh, yes, hello… I have this laptop…” 

_ Great job, Castiel, now he thinks you’re an idiot, get it together _

Dean smiled even bigger. “I can see that. So, what’s the problem?”

Castiel looked at the laptop in an attempt to get his shit together. “The screen went black, even though it is on. I tried turning it off and on again, but that didn’t help.”

Dean chuckled. “Didn’t huh? Well, I’ll take a look at it.” He fumbled under the counter and came up with a form. “Fill this out, and I’ll take a look and get back to you tomorrow.”

Castiel looked at the form and the offered pen with a sigh.

“I have some very important writing on it.”

Dean patted the counter, making Castiel’s eyes look at his hand. He had very nice fingers. Castiel tried not to think about them.

“Don’t worry, even If I can’t get your screen back, I have a way to get your information off it. I promise to do my best.”

Castiel filled out the form, which asked his name, phone number and address. When he handed Dean the form, he looked up at him.

Dean was looking at him intently. It made Castiel shiver a little. Dean took the form, looked at it and then back at Castiel.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Cas nodded. He didn’t trust his voice anymore. He turned and left.

**Dean**

Dean was humming along to When The Levee Breaks, his focus on the computer he was working on when he heard the bell. He wiped his hands off and went to the front to see who it was. As he rounded the corner and saw the guy, he had to resist the urge to whistle.

The guy was fucking gorgeous. 

He went up and talked to the guy, who seemed really nervous. Dean thought he was adorable. But there was something he couldn’t put his finger on too. He could have sworn he’d seen the guy somewhere before.

They guy handed him the form and he looked at the name. Castiel Novak didn’t  _ sound _ familiar. He watched Novak walk out of the shop.  _ Man _ he had a nice ass…

Dean grabbed the laptop and headed to his work bench when it hit him.

He looked like Chuck Shurley.

He sat at his own computer and googled a picture. Damn it  _ was _ him!

Dean had loved those books for years. He had everything Shurley had ever written. And the guy had been in his shop! And said he had some ‘very important writing’ on that very computer. 

Dean grabbed it and got to work.

Luckily, it was just a loose connection. He got it working in less than an hour.

Then he started reading. 

He was shocked at what Novak was writing.  _ Gay romance _ ? But it was good! He was really into the first chapters. 

But then he reached the sex. It was horrible, atrocious. It was like the guy didn’t have a clue. Dean was intrigued. Why was Chuck, er, Castiel, trying to write a gay novel? And what the everloving  _ fuck _ was up with the sex part? 

He resolved to ask. Tomorrow. 


	2. Chapter 2

Dean anxiously waited until ten in the morning to call Castiel.

“Hey, it’s Dean Winchester. I fixed your laptop. You can come and get it any time.”

Castiel nearly fainted with relief. “Thank you! I’ll be right there.”

Dean paced the shop waiting. He didn’t have to wait long. He looked up as Castiel breezed in the door and up to the counter.

“Thank you so much for fixing it so quickly!”

Dean smiled. “It was just a loose connection.”

Castiel smiled. “How much do I owe you?”

Dean took a deep breath. “Nothing. All I ask is that you have a cup of coffee with me.”

Castiel’s mouth fell open and he quickly shut it. “Co-coffee? With me?” He couldn’t believe his ears. This handsome man was asking him to coffee?

Dean smiled. “Yeah, Mr.  _ Shurley.  _ I am asking you to have coffee with me.”

Castiel’s heart sank. Dean knew who he was. It was just a fan, asking an author for coffee.

His eyes dropped to the counter. “Fine, yes, when?”

Dean saw the look of resignation wash over Castiel’s face. He was sorry he’d been the one to put it there. 

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Castiel looked up at him. “No, it’s fine. Where and when?”

Dean grinned again. “How about now? I can close the shop, and there’s a little place just three doors down.”

They walked to a place called Dinah’s Diner and found a booth. They each ordered coffee. The waitress knew Dean, and Dean introduced Castiel as ‘my friend, Cas.’ When they had their coffee, Dean took a deep breath.

“Okay, look. I admit I’m a huge fan. Been reading your books for years. So.. I was… intrigued. I read the story you’re writing.”

Castiel turned red. “Oh no, you didn’t.”

Dean nodded. “I did. And it’s good! Really good. Except for…”

Castiel turned even redder, which Dean thought should have been impossible until he witnessed it with his own eyes.

Castiel mumbled, “The sex.”

Dean nodded again. “Well yeah. The sex sucks ass. I get that you’re gay, or at least bi. But man, you write it like someone who never  _ had _ sex. Never even been kissed! What’s up with that?”

Castiel was humiliated. He wished he could just disappear. He looked at this coffee, and mumbled, “I haven’t.”

Dean was sure he misheard Castiel. “What did you say?”

Castiel looked up at him. “I haven’t, okay? I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never had sex. Now you know, go spread it all over the internet. Tell everyone about how Chuck Shurley is a loser! I… I just don’t care anymore.”

Dean couldn’t have been more shocked if Castiel had told him he was an angel of the lord. He looked at Castiel, his amazingly blue eyes, his sharp jaw, the just-right stubble on his beautiful cheeks… 

Castiel was a virgin. That was a sin against nature. 

“Your secret is safe with me, Cas. I’d never out you.”

Castiel looked at Dean searching his face for any sign of dishonesty. He didn’t see anything but a handsome man who seemed to be telling the truth.

“Well, thank you for that, Dean.”

Dean took a deep breath. “But listen, okay? Maybe I can… help with your writing? Give you some tips?”

Castiel was shocked. Dean was  _ gay _ ? And wanted to help him. He couldn’t believe it.

“Really? You would be willing to do that? Why?”

Dean sat back and took a sip of his coffee. 

“Because I like you. Because I love the way you write. I want your new book to be a huge success.”

Castiel drank some of his coffee to give himself some time. He was blown away by Dean’s offer. And more than that, he was attracted to Dean, and it meant getting to spend more time with the man. The very handsome man. The very sexy, very handsome man.

“Alright. If you are serious about wanting to help me, I accept.”

Dean smiled brightly. “Great! When should we start?”

Castiel thought. “The sooner the better. Are you free this evening?”

“Of course! Where and what time?”

“Well, you have my address. How does seven sound?”

Dean wanted to do a fist pump on the spot, but controlled himself. “Perfect! I’ll be there. But now, I guess I need to get back to work.”

After he got in his car, Castiel put his laptop on the seat next to him and drove home, feeling better about his novel than ever before

By six o’clock he almost had a panic attack. He paced the living room, fisting his hair and trying to control his breathing. He had never had anyone except for his older brother in his house. He looked around wildly, hoping everything was in its place.

_ Come on, Castiel, you can do this! You are a thirty year old man, and you can do this. Nothing is going to happen, he’s just going to give you tips on your writing. That’s all this is. It isn’t like it’s a date. _

Except for the fact that he really, really wished it was a date.

When he heard the sound of Dean’s car rumble into the driveway and stop, he got so dizzy he had to grab the back of the couch to keep from falling down.

When Dean knocked, he took a couple of slow deep breaths and walked to the door. He opened it to see Dean standing there, smiling.

Butterflies took up residence in his stomach.

“Hi, Cas.”

Castiel looked into those green eyes again, and felt like he was falling.

“Hello Dean. Uh, you’re right on time.”

Dean held up a six pack of beer. “I brought beer!”

Castiel smiled. “So I see. Well, come in.” He stepped aside and Dean walked in.

“Nice place you got here.”

Castiel relaxed a little. He could do this. “Thank you, Dean. It’s modest but it’s home. May I take the beer to the kitchen?” 

Dean turned around and smiled. “Sure! I’ll just wait here.” He sat on the couch, after handing Castiel the six pack. Castiel took it and put four in the refrigerator, keeping two out. He took them back and sat them on the coffee table. Dean grabbed his and opened it.

“So, ready to talk about sex?”

Cas turned a deep shade of red. Dean could tell he was very uncomfortable, so he switched tactics.

“Or we could, I don’t know, just talk for a bit? You know, not about sex?”

Castiel looked so relieved. “Yes! Yes, let’s talk. Uh, you first.” 

Dean took a drink of his beer. “So, tell me about how you got started writing.”


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel relaxed. He’d been forced to go on tour after his first trilogy was published and although he hated it, he had learned how to talk about himself. He focused on his beer bottle.

“Well, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I got a job in the mail room of a publishing house at seventeen. I worked during the day and wrote at night. I finished the first volume of Elembor that year.”

He quickly glanced at Dean and saw a look of rapt attention, so he looked down again and continued.

“My older brother Gabriel was a copywriter at the publishing firm and he convinced them to look at my manuscript. The rest is, as you say, is history.”

Dean said, “Wow.” 

Castiel looked back at him.”Enough about me. Tell me about you.” 

He’d learned that technique from dating sites. ‘Show interest in the other person.’

Dean was staring at him. He licked his lips, and Castiel’s eyes tracked the movement.

“Well, uh, there isn’t much to tell. I went to a junior college to learn about computer repair, worked for my uncle Bobby for awhile and then opened up my own shop.”

Cas took a swallow of his beer. 

“Well, do you have any family? A boyfriend?”

Castiel could have kicked himself.  _ Real smooth. _

Dean grinned. “No boyfriend. And there’s just me and my little brother.”

Castiel took another swallow. 

He and Dean were staring at each other. Dean’s eyes went to Castiel’s lips, then tracked the swallow. Cas sat the bottle down and wiped the sweat off the back of his neck. Why had it suddenly gotten so hot in the room?

Dean looked away. “Uh, maybe we should get started?”

Castiel nodded, but felt like that was the last thing they should do.

Dean took a deep breath. “Okay, so… about that kiss…”

Castiel took a corresponding deep breath. “Yes?”

Dean fiddled with the label on his beer bottle. “It shouldn’t start like that. It should start slow, like... they look at each other, and Peter just moves closer. He slowly closes his eyes and just brushes his lips over Franks. Light, you know? Then he pulls back to look at Frank again. Frank still has his eyes closed. So Peter kisses him again, but harder. Frank responds… Peter runs his tongue over Frank’s bottom lip, so Frank opens his mouth.”

He glanced at Cas, who was red again, his mouth open. Dean looked away.

“And there’s no ‘vying for dominance,’ Peter just slides his tongue over Frank’s. Softly. Feather light… ”

Now Dean was sweating. He rubbed the back of his neck.

Castiel jumped up like something had bitten him.

“Yes! Uh yes, that’s… that’s good. It’s wonderful.  _ Very _ helpful. Thank you, Dean.” 

He paced the room. Dean watched him, realizing just how uncomfortable Cas really was. He had kind of wanted the whole discussion to lead to him kissing Cas, but that didn’t seem likely now. He took another sip of his beer and waited for Cas to settle down.

Finally, Cas took a deep breath and sat down, taking a sip of beer.

“Um… okay… Dean. That was… very informative. What else is there about kissing? I want to get it right.”

Dean really wanted to kiss Cas. He cleared his throat.

“Well, you don’t want to rush things. Let them kiss for awhile. Have Peter grab Frank’s face.”

Cas tilted his head and squinted at Dean. Dean’s heart did a flip.

“Why would Peter  _ grab _ Frank’s face?”

Dean chuckled. “Well, not  _ grab _ grab. More like this…”

Dean reached out slowly, as if he were approaching a skittish forest creature, and put his hands on either side of Cas’ head. His thumbs ran over Cas’ cheekbones, and Cas’ eyes fluttered shut for a moment.

When they opened again, they were wide. The look on Cas’ face was somewhere between horrified and horny. Dean took his hands away.

They were staring into each other’s eyes again. 

Cas looked away first. “Oh.. I see… I will... endeavor to write that.”

Dean nodded. “Good. That’s… good.”

They sat for a few minutes, neither of them speaking. 

Then Dean cleared his throat again. “Just have them kiss for awhile. Kissing is awesome. Don’t rush it.”

Cas nodded. “Don’t rush it, kiss more, I understand,”

Dean took a breath. “Cas, can I take you out to dinner?”

Cas looked shocked. “I… I don’t think that’s a good idea, Dean.”

“Why? I mean, we are getting along here. We have more to talk about… with your story I mean. What would it hurt to have dinner?”

Cas sighed. “Dean, I have been on several dates. They never end well. I do want your help, but if we go on a date, then you won’t want to help me anymore.”

Dean was shocked. “What? Why wouldn’t I want to help you anymore if we had dinner together?”

Cas looked like he could cry. “I’m very awkward, Dean. I’m… I don’t do well in social situations. No man I have ever been on a date with has ever contacted me again.”

“Then they were idiots, Cas! Look, we’re talking here, aren’t we? I think we’re getting along. I like you. I want to get to know you better. Forget those assholes. Have dinner with me. I swear I’ll still want to help you.”

Cas listened. He wanted to spend more time with Dean. Who wouldn’t? The man was handsome, funny and so sexy, he made Cas light-headed just being in the same room. He wanted to believe that Dean wouldn’t just take him to dinner and then never talk to him again. 

“Okay, Dean. I’ll have dinner with you.”

Dean smiled brightly. “Great! Good. How about tomorrow night?”

Cas sighed. “Okay, yes. But I really do need help with my story.”

“I know, Cas, and I’m going to help you. I swear. So, I’ll pick you up at seven, is that alright?”

Cas smiled at him. “That would be fine.”

Dean stood up so Cas did too. 

“Good night, Cas. You write the kissing and I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Cas blushed. “Okay, Dean. I’ll write the kissing tomorrow. And thank you.”

Dean resisted the urge to grab Cas and kiss the hell out of him. Cas walked him to the door. They said good night again, and Dean left.

Cas was both excited and scared. He touched his cheek, remembering what it felt like when Dean put his hands on his face. 

Dean was happy. He liked Cas a lot. The guy was hot as fuck, but Dean knew he was skittish. He’d have to take it slow with Cas. But he was sure that it would be worth it.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Cas was so nervous when he woke up the next morning, he felt like he was having a nervous breakdown. He did his yoga, which calmed him, ate some fruit and sat down at his laptop.

He was so happy when he lifted the lid and the screen came on.

Which of course made him think about Dean. Which ramped up his nervousness again.

He tried to shake it off and got to work.

He erased everything he’d written about Peter and Frank’s encounter. He thought back to what Dean told him. He blushed when he thought about Dean’s hands on his face.

He wrote, remembering every word Dean had spoken about kissing. Dean made it sound so incredible, he wished Dean would kiss him like that.

Dean said he liked him. Maybe, just maybe, they would kiss.

It was lunch time before he knew it. He shook his head and went to find something to eat.

The afternoon wore on and finally, it was time to get ready. Cas showered, brushed his teeth, then stood in his bedroom naked, trying to decide what to wear.

All of his underwear were white boxers, so there was no decision there. But what pants, what shirt almost made him cancel. He finally decided to suck it up and put on soft jeans and a button up that was almost the same color as his eyes. 

Then he went to tackle his hair. It never quite laid down, but he did the best he could with it.

He sat down on the couch to wait. Then he paced. Then he sat down again.

When he heard Dean’s car in the driveway, he nearly had a heart attack. He did some deep breathing, then went to open the door.

Dean got out of his car and walked up. He looked amazing. His henley was the same shade of green as his eyes. He was wearing jeans that hugged his body in a very tantalizing way.

“Hey Cas. Ready?”

Cas took a deep breath. “Hello Dean. Yes, I’m ready.”

Cas took a good look at Dean’s car, which was quite beautiful. Then they were both in, Cas remarked on it. He knew most men were very attached to their cars.

Sure enough, Dean beamed at him. “She’s my baby, Cas! I rebuilt her from the ground up.”

“That’s very impressive Dean. I can see why you are so proud of her.”

He’d never really understood why cars and boats were considered female, but he just went with it.

They arrived at the restaurant and were taken to a booth by the hostess. Dean ordered two beers for them. Cas set about wiping the silverware on his napkin and arranging them according to his preferred positions. He moved the water glass just a touch, then, satisfied, he looked at Dean. Dean was smiling at him. That made him feel a little flustered. He was keenly aware that most people didn’t do things like that.

“I… I’m sorry. I just… like things in their proper place.”

Dean’s smile only broadened. ”I think it’s cute, Cas.”

_ Cute _ ? No one ever thought Cas’ eccentricities were cute. He smiled back.

After they ordered, Dean sat back. “So, did you get any writing done today?”

Cas smiled a little. “Yes, I did, thanks to you. I completely rewrote the kissing scene. I think it’s much better now. I want you to read it, just to make sure.”

“I’d love to, Looking forward to it. Do you want more of my help?”

“Oh yes! I’m very unsure of the,” he lowered his voice, “ _ sex scenes.” _

Dean’s eyes twinkled and he smiled so big that the crinkles next to his eyes stood out. 

“I’d love to help with that, Cas. Really looking forward to it, actually.”

Cas felt his face get hot and knew he was blushing. He looked at his beer. 

He fumbled with his knife. “Well, yes… um… to that end… I was wondering… well, if you would like to come to dinner at my house tomorrow? We could… well, uh… work on the scene after we eat?”

Dean reached out and put his hand on the hand Cas had the knife in. Cas stilled and looked at their hands. 

“I’d love to, Cas. Thanks.”

Cas felt like might pass out. But he also felt like he’d won the lottery. He had a first date with Dean, and Dean still wanted to see him again.

Dinner went well, the food was delicious and they managed to chat about different things. Dean was taken aback at how little pop culture-savvy Cas was. He vowed to introduce Cas to some of his favorite movies.

When they finished, Dean took Cas by the elbow and guided him back to the car. Cas felt like his arm was on fire where Dean touched it.

Back at home, they sat in the car looking at one another. It seemed to Cas that they did that a lot, but he wasn't complaining, Dean had amazing eyes.

Finally he looked away and cleared his throat. “I guess I should go…”

Dean blinked. “Yeah, I should get on home…”

Cas forced himself to open the car door. He turned back to Dean.

“I had a very nice time tonight, Dean. Thank you. You should be here at seven tomorrow for dinner.”

Dean smiled at him. “I did too, Cas. And I’ll be there with bells on.”

Cas got out, wondering what bells had to do with dinner. He walked to the door, turned and waved at Dean. Dean drove away.

Cas had trouble falling asleep that night. He laid in the dark thinking about Dean. Dean was coming to dinner. He thought of what to fix. He thought about talking about the sex scene. That made him both excited and nervous at the same time. But he knew he was looking forward to it.

He ended up masturbating… touching himself and imagining it was Dean. He knew he wanted to have sex with Dean. So much. He wondered which position Dean would want to take. Would he want Cas to fuck him, or would he want to fuck Cas? Cas didn’t care which Dean wanted, he just wanted to have sex with Dean. And he knew there was at least a chance of that happening. Dean seemed to like him. 

He came with Dean’s name on his lips, and slept like a rock.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, Cas logged onto Facebook. The only reason he had an account was because his publisher insisted on it. Now, he was glad he had one. He looked for Dean. There was a page about his computer repair shop, but there was also one for him personally. 

All Cas wanted was to see if he could find anything about Dean’s favorite foods. He found out that Dean was particularly fond of hamburgers and pie. But he couldn’t help snooping just a touch.

He clicked on Family. It listed his brother, whose name was Sam, and next…

It listed a son. Ben.

Dean had a son? There wasn’t any mention of a wife anywhere, but it clearly stated that he had a son named Ben.

Cas hurried and logged out. He sat back, thinking.

Dean had a son. That meant there was a mother. A woman. Dean was with a woman in the past. They had a son. Were they divorced? Did she die? Did Dean still have contact with her? Worse yet, did he still love her? 

Cas chewed the inside of his mouth until it hurt too much. He got up and paced the room. He knew he had to ask Dean about this. But was it really any of his business? It wasn’t like he and Dean were anything but friends, if even that.

Just because they had gone out to dinner didn’t mean they were anything more than friends. Friends went out to dinner all the time, didn’t they? 

So what if they stared at one another. That didn’t mean Dean liked the way he looked or anything. 

Cas felt defeated. He’d read way too much into this, just like he always did. He went to the store and got everything he needed to make burgers and potato wedges. He bought a pie, deciding on apple. He got some vanilla ice cream to top it.

He spent the rest of the day in mindless tasks. He changed his sheets, did a couple loads of wash, a little unnecessary dusting. He very seriously didn’t think about anything but tidying the house for company.

That’s all Dean was, just company.

When it became time, Cas seasoned and shaped the burgers, cut up the potatoes, got everything ready. When he heard Dean’s car, he wiped his hands on a towel, took several deep breaths and went to open the door.

Dean stood there with a big smile on his face. “Hi, Cas.”

Cas kept his voice even. “Hello, Dean. Please come in.”

Once inside, Cas turned to the kitchen. “Dinner will be ready soon.”

Dean trailed after him, then sat at the table. “How was your day?”

Cas put the burgers on the counter top grill. “It was fine. How was your day?”

Dean looked at him with a curious expression. “It was alright. Uh, is everything okay, Cas?”

Cas checked the potatoes. “Of course, Dean.”

Cas busied himself with fixing the food. He didn’t look at Dean, it would be too painful. Cas kept his resolve.

When Cas sat the food in front of Dean, he kept his eyes on the table.

“Wow, Cas! This looks amazing.”

Cas sat down, looking at his plate. “I also have apple pie and ice cream for dessert.”

“How did you know all my favorites?”.

Cas sighed. “I looked at your Facebook page, Dean.”

Dean took a big bite and moaned. “Fuck! This is delicious!”

Cas didn’t know if Dean would be mad or not that he’d looked at his Facebook page. Apparently he wasn’t. Cas ate his burger, glancing occasionally at Dean.

When they were done, Dean said he didn’t have room for pie yet. They went to the living room and sat on the couch.

Cas still wasn’t looking at Dean. He really wanted to, but he felt he needed to avoid the inevitable staring.

Dean sighed. “Cas, what’s wrong?”

Cas was startled. “Nothing! Nothing is wrong.”

Dean reached out a hand and touched Cas on the arm. “Cas, I can tell. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

Cas looked at Dean’s hand and then at Dean.

“I… I looked at your Facebook page.”

Dean smiled. “You told me.”

Cas looked at the hand again, still on his arm. “I looked at your family, Dean. You have a son.”

Dean nodded. “I do. Cas. He’s nine. Is that a problem?”

“Where is his mother?”

Dean sighed. “That’s what is bothering you? I’m not with her, I was never really with her. I made a mistake, but I don’t regret it because it got me Ben. But he lives with his mother and step-father. In Los Angeles. I don’t see him very often but I stay in touch.”

Cas looked at him. “You… aren’t with the mother?”

Dean shook his head. “No, I never really was. I was trying to convince myself I wasn’t gay. My dad… well, let’s just say he wasn’t gay-friendly. But Lisa and I knew we weren’t good together. It never would have worked out, even if I was straight.”

Cas felt very relieved. He looked shyly at Dean.

“In that case, Dean… would you consider… kissing me?”

Dean’s eyes lit up. “I’d love to kiss you, Cas.”

Dean leaned forward and took Cas’ face in his hands. Just like he’d described to Cas, he brushed his lips over Cas’, feather light. Then he pulled back, opened his eyes to look at Cas, who had his eyes closed tight. Then he kissed Cas again, this time hard and deep. Cas melted into him, kissing back. Dean ran his tongue along Cas’ bottom lip, Cas opening his mouth. Their tongues slid over one another.

Cas sighed. It was so much better than he’d ever imagined. He grabbed Dean’s shirt and kissed back with everything in him.

He wasn’t really sure how he’d ended up on his back with Dean on top of him. They were kissing like it would be the last time they ever got to. His cock was impossibly hard in his pants and he could feel Dean’s equally hard cock against his thigh. He moaned at the feeling.

Dean pulled away. “I want to taste you, Cas. Can I?”

Cas looked at him with a squint. “Taste me?”

Dean chuckled. “Oh, you are adorable, Cas.”

Cas was confused, but he trusted Dean. Dean moved down and began to undo Cas’ pants. Cas took a deep breath and waited to see what was going to happen. He was totally unprepared for Dean’s mouth on his cock.

He gasped at the feeling of warm, wet heat. It was the single most incredible thing he’d ever felt. He grabbed at Dean’s hair. 

“Oh  _ god _ , Dean…”

Dean sucked up and down Cas’ length, using his tongue expertly. One of his hands was pressed to Cas’ thigh, the other played with Cas’ balls.

For the first time in his life, Cas lost all higher function. There was absolutely nothing in his head. He was just lost in the feel of it. His brain was quiet, his body was on fire.

He could feel it beginning in his gut. It spread to his balls and then…

“Dean, I’m going to orgasm!”

Dean just kept sucking. When Cas came, he swallowed everything Cas gave him.


	6. Epilouge

**Epilogue**

A year and a half later, Cas’ book came out. It was met with praise. People specifically mentioned how steamy his sex scenes were.

But what Cas was the most proud of was the dedication.

_ I dedicate this book to my amazing husband, D. It never would have seen the light of day if not for him. His love, patience and support has been everything for me. He is my light, my heart, my soul and my life. He is my universe, and I am simply a planet in it, endlessly circling in his orbit. I love you, D, with all that I am. Thank you for loving me back. _


End file.
